8 Ways to Handle Sibling Fighting and Rivalry Effectively
If you have more than one boy, the odds of having to referee sibling fighting and rivalry are good to excellent. The truth is even the strongest relationships between siblings can have moments of tension and friction.
Yet a much more stable home and sibling unity can be attained with a little wisdom and patience. Fighting and competition can be significantly reduced when a strong sibling relationship is formed early, and children are taught how to handle conflict with their brother or sister. This very significant family bond will thrive and grow strong as kids learn how to work through their differences.
Popular Sibling Conflict Triggers
Next, try to comprehend that there could be sibling battle. Every skirmish can be set off by something different, such as a battle over whose turn it is to sweep the floors or who decides what TV show or film to watch, but a bigger problem might be the root cause.
The issue could be a clash of personalities in some cases. In some, feelings of competition can be unresolved. For example, a child may feel that his sibling is preferred by his mom or dad. Another child may feel resentful because she feels that because she is younger, she doesn't get to do as much. Or one sibling might just want things to be calmer and quieter, while the other is all about action and adventure.
Kids' Typical Temperamental Traits
How to Do Competing over Sibling
Whatever the cause, it is important that parents do what they can to cultivate a healthy relationship between siblings to ensure that their relationship is not affected by any disagreements.
Here's what parents can do to handle sibling warfare:
Next, teach children how to deal with conflict in a constructive way. Children who are taught how to approach disputes in a positive way-say, by listening to the point of view of their sibling or not participating in name-calling-will be in a much stronger state of mind to resolve conflicts and move beyond combat. Another bonus: In future relationships, both at work and at home, children who grow up learning how to avoid and work out disputes with their siblings will be better at communicating and working out compromises. Learning how to cope with disagreements with their peers can help children develop into adults who are capable of resolving disputes and who are better at maintaining relationships with others.
For the entire family, cast sibling harmony as necessary. Explain why your family is like a team to your children. And like any good team, everyone needs to work together to have a happy and caring home. Mom, dad, and the children. Any fights among family members can damage the entire team or the family.
Only walk in. Some parents may wrongly believe that encouraging children to deal with conflict on their own is best. To some extent, that can be true, as long as kids have the resources to approach conflicts in a constructive, optimistic, and peaceful way. But if the debate gets intense or verbal or physical violence happens, intervene right away. Sit down with them and talk about what happened, if you're not there to see the argument, and make it clear that violence of some sort is not appropriate in your house.
Listen on both sides. In a sibling war, there will be two sides to each story. Let each child feel, without judgement or interference, like he or she is being listened to. Sometimes after venting to mom or dad about an issue, children feel much better, particularly when they feel like they can state their position and it will be heard fairly.
Making a non-negotiable law respected. It implies no name-calling and certainly no hitting or any physical assault. Furthermore, inspire your kids to always listen to the other side of things and give them the respect they deserve for themselves.
Encourage children to be descriptive and state the problem. Tell your child to concentrate, rather than on her sister, on what she is angry about. "For example, if your child is upset that her brother always likes to choose what game they are going to play, she should state the issue rather than say something like, "You're not fair! Instead of dwelling on the actions of a sibling, the conversation will become more about the problem and solution, rather than their portrayal of each other by being descriptive about the problem (having an equal say in selecting the games).
Ask the kids for any solutions to suggest. Make any scenarios or resolutions come up with your kids that would be fair on both sides. Before offering recommendations, allow them to position themselves in the other person's shoe.
Model good conduct for problem-solving. Children watch and learn from parents, and from how we deal with conflicts with our spouse, friends and family take our clues about how to solve conflict. If during a dispute, we are respectful and caring, and listen to our emotions and opinions, our children will learn and adopt those skills for conflict resolution themselves.
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Yet a much more stable home and sibling unity can be attained with a little wisdom and patience. Fighting and competition can be significantly reduced when a strong sibling relationship is formed early, and children are taught how to handle conflict with their brother or sister. This very significant family bond will thrive and grow strong as kids learn how to work through their differences.
Popular Sibling Conflict Triggers
Next, try to comprehend that there could be sibling battle. Every skirmish can be set off by something different, such as a battle over whose turn it is to sweep the floors or who decides what TV show or film to watch, but a bigger problem might be the root cause.
The issue could be a clash of personalities in some cases. In some, feelings of competition can be unresolved. For example, a child may feel that his sibling is preferred by his mom or dad. Another child may feel resentful because she feels that because she is younger, she doesn't get to do as much. Or one sibling might just want things to be calmer and quieter, while the other is all about action and adventure.
Kids' Typical Temperamental Traits
How to Do Competing over Sibling
Whatever the cause, it is important that parents do what they can to cultivate a healthy relationship between siblings to ensure that their relationship is not affected by any disagreements.
Here's what parents can do to handle sibling warfare:
Next, teach children how to deal with conflict in a constructive way. Children who are taught how to approach disputes in a positive way-say, by listening to the point of view of their sibling or not participating in name-calling-will be in a much stronger state of mind to resolve conflicts and move beyond combat. Another bonus: In future relationships, both at work and at home, children who grow up learning how to avoid and work out disputes with their siblings will be better at communicating and working out compromises. Learning how to cope with disagreements with their peers can help children develop into adults who are capable of resolving disputes and who are better at maintaining relationships with others.
For the entire family, cast sibling harmony as necessary. Explain why your family is like a team to your children. And like any good team, everyone needs to work together to have a happy and caring home. Mom, dad, and the children. Any fights among family members can damage the entire team or the family.
Only walk in. Some parents may wrongly believe that encouraging children to deal with conflict on their own is best. To some extent, that can be true, as long as kids have the resources to approach conflicts in a constructive, optimistic, and peaceful way. But if the debate gets intense or verbal or physical violence happens, intervene right away. Sit down with them and talk about what happened, if you're not there to see the argument, and make it clear that violence of some sort is not appropriate in your house.
Listen on both sides. In a sibling war, there will be two sides to each story. Let each child feel, without judgement or interference, like he or she is being listened to. Sometimes after venting to mom or dad about an issue, children feel much better, particularly when they feel like they can state their position and it will be heard fairly.
Making a non-negotiable law respected. It implies no name-calling and certainly no hitting or any physical assault. Furthermore, inspire your kids to always listen to the other side of things and give them the respect they deserve for themselves.
Encourage children to be descriptive and state the problem. Tell your child to concentrate, rather than on her sister, on what she is angry about. "For example, if your child is upset that her brother always likes to choose what game they are going to play, she should state the issue rather than say something like, "You're not fair! Instead of dwelling on the actions of a sibling, the conversation will become more about the problem and solution, rather than their portrayal of each other by being descriptive about the problem (having an equal say in selecting the games).
Ask the kids for any solutions to suggest. Make any scenarios or resolutions come up with your kids that would be fair on both sides. Before offering recommendations, allow them to position themselves in the other person's shoe.
Model good conduct for problem-solving. Children watch and learn from parents, and from how we deal with conflicts with our spouse, friends and family take our clues about how to solve conflict. If during a dispute, we are respectful and caring, and listen to our emotions and opinions, our children will learn and adopt those skills for conflict resolution themselves.
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